


Working for a Miracle

by ImaKaraTabiHe



Category: Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Loneliness, Mental Health Issues, Pre-Superfamily, Sad with a Happy Ending, Secret Identity, Secret Identity Reveal, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:02:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8855476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaKaraTabiHe/pseuds/ImaKaraTabiHe
Summary: Peter's alone in the world, struggling to be both Peter Parker and Spider-Man.  Sometimes he feels so low, he wonders if he's living, if it's worth it.
..Maybe miracles take some work though?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Warning (repeating from tags): Peter is depressed and, although actively suicidal, he sometimes is.

If there was one thing Peter Parker knew, it was that life sucked.  Sometimes it sucked so bad that he just wanted to take whoever’s snow-globe this planet was and smash it on the ground.  It was a ridiculous notion, but it felt right when he felt low.

Spider-Man was his only saving grace and that wasn’t even a constant - it was a rarity.  Who wanted to get stabbed, sliced, tortured, chased, hunted, beaten, poisoned, hated, etc.?  No one, and that’s what being Spider-Man was most of the time.  There were rare times, though, when he’d save someone and see the pure relief and joy that they held, happy to be alive, that made him feel better.  It was those faces that made it worth it.

Kind people were the reason he got up, faced JJJ’s insanity, wrestled with criminals, got beaten up, and lived in a crap apartment with no friends.  Well, them and his aunt and uncle.

He’d sworn to be the best he could be, to use his abilities to help others, when he’d lost his uncle.  He had, as best as he could.  Donning the costume and trying to juggle Spider-Man, life, school, and a job had been exhausting, but do-able.  When he’d lost his aunt, however.. that had been his breaking point.

Aunt May had passed in a car accident, leaving Peter Parker alone in the world, not even a legal adult.  He’d been lucky to have been allowed to sell everything and live on his own with regular check-ups as to his wellbeing.  He had a job, the life insurance, and he was a good student.  Peter wouldn’t have stood for being put in foster care.

So Peter found himself alone as he put all of his efforts into his studies, into work, and into Spider-Man.  There was little that mattered now, little who mattered.  He’d lost everyone he cared for, everyone he loved.

Gwen’s picture sat next to his aunt and uncle’s on the barely functioning dresser in his room, collecting tears and dust.

Harry came back one day, but Peter already knew their friendship was broken.  The minute Harry had become enraged with Spider-Man’s lack of help, he knew things could never go back to the way they were.  He knew that he was a failure, both as Spider-Man and as the friend Harry used to know, Peter Parker.

Sometimes he wondered if waking up in the morning was worth it.  He was constantly tired and worn out.  Sometimes he didn’t want to move, but then he’d remember those looks of absolute life that burned in the eyes of those he rescued, and he hungered to feel the same, craved to feel happy to be alive the way they appeared to.  He kept waking up, kept being Spider-Man.  He kept going.

Now, despite all his loneliness, it wasn’t to say that he never had any companions to talk to - he did, just not as Peter Parker, but as Spider-Man.

There was the first time when Victor Von Doom (aka Doctor Doom) had sent an army of robots resembling animals into NYC, hoping to take over the entire city in his skewed view of justice.  It had been overwhelming almost for the Avengers, so while Peter didn’t normally step in, this time Spider-Man did.

It was a hard battle, his spider-sense constantly tingling and his body worn out from its daily survival, but he’d stepped in, and together they turned the tide of the battle.

“How’d you know their weakness?” Iron Man had questioned curiously.

Spider-Man had shrugged.  “Wasn’t it obvious?  The flash of light when they fired their weapons was obviously a sign of a functional dual atomic energy.”  And that was all it took before he was chatting about energy systems and their weaknesses with Tony Stark and Bruce Banner post-battle haze.

Black Widow and Hawkeye had looked suspicious, but he’d ignored them.  As long as they didn’t kill him or anything, it was fine if they hated him.  He just had to avoid SHIELD.  Personally, Peter’d like Thor’s reaction, which had been to question his “might” and “battle tales”.  Captain America had complimented and thanked him.  Peter thinks the Winter Soldier might’ve given him a nod as well, but who knows with those former brainwashed spies.

They must’ve decided he wasn’t a threat, because the next time Peter was feeling overwhelmed, in came the calvary.  It was.. new.  It was nice.  He liked having back-up.  He liked it even more when Tony bought them all pizza, and he savored two for himself, scarfing down all he could.  Selfies of Spider-Man didn’t pay much and rent was expensive.

Things continued like that, oddly enough.  Sometimes he’d help them, and sometimes they’d help him.  It was a lot like friendship, he dared allow himself to think, and that both scared him and made him cling to those bonds he viewed as fragile.

Somehow.. things seemed brighter day by day when he woke up.  It wasn’t very noticeable, really.  In fact, the first time he’d noticed it was six months after their first formal meeting in battle against Doom.  Peter fudged and fell while he was web-slinging.  It had been an embarrassing day when the Bugle questioned his sanity, like he didn’t web-sling all the time anyways.  Who had sanity when they did things like that?

Needless to say that when things seemed to be getting better, there was always someone there to break it all down again.  This someone was more of a thing, actually.  Venom.

Venom was the reigning champion of some of his worst nightmares, ones that made him scream himself awake.  There was no worse feeling than drowning in that hate and feeling oneself start to bend to its will.

Although he’d fallen prey to the alien symbiote, this time he was ready to fight it as it claimed Eddie Brock as a substitute.  Eddie may  not have been a superhuman, but Venom still trampled over his exhausted form.  Yet Peter fought, long and hard.

He fought until Venom broke his knee and dislocated a shoulder, fought until he could taste nothing but the metallic tinge of blood in his mouth.  And sadly.. he fell.

Peter watched as Venom became distant, heard the wind whistle as his body tumbled down, down, down, becoming ever so close to the pavement below.  ‘Is this how it ends?’ he wondered faintly, pain numbed by the realization that this fall was one he couldn’t walk away from.  He exhaled and closed his eyes.  ‘I’m okay with that.’

But the darkness, the mind numbing emptiness never came.  Sounds of thrusters caught his attention and then he was caught in cold, metal arms.  “Don’t you dare give up, Spidey.”

Peter opened his eyes, wincing beneath his mask.  It was Tony Stark.  He’d.. been saved?  He frowned with confusion.  “Why are you here?” he asked.

“Kid,” Tony replied, “we’re all here, and we’re here because we care.”  Peter looked around, hearing the static of Tony’s communication systems, listening to the voices of the Avengers asking if he was okay, swearing as they threatened to kill Venom, promising that they’d take care of Spider-Man..

“Huh.”

Tony didn’t question his obvious confusion and awe.  “Just hold on, okay?  They’ve got it under control.  I promise,” he added on, most likely thinking Peter would jump into the fray to assist.

He wouldn’t though.  Peter was battered, broken, and bloody, but for some reason he felt safe.  For some reason, he felt.. happy and alive.

Peter licked his lips as Tony sped them back to the Tower, stomach no longer turning from the bloody taste.

Tony set him down on an examine table in a medical center, hurrying out of his armor and calling for Dr. Banner over the comm.  Peter smiled as Tony started to work on him, asking each time if Peter was okay if he did a test.

With Dr. Banner’s help, the two bandaged Peter up, leaving his identity up to Peter himself to reveal.  “Do you have any family you’d like us to contact?” Dr. Banner asked, considerately.

The question was painful, but he made himself answer, “No.”  Peter closed his eyes as he lay on a pristine, white medical bed.  “I’m on my own.”

“No, you’re not.”

Peter looked over at the door, blinking as the rest of the Avengers filed in.  “You’ve got us,” Hawkeye - Clint, declared.  He hesitated, unable to formulate a response that could appear real.

“He’s right,” Bucky spoke up, voice low and quiet.  “We’re here for you.”  His assertion was followed by agreements from every single one of them.  Peter’s heart felt tight and his head struggled to think as he realized ‘They’re telling the truth.’

Peter was silent, mulling over his options, over his life, his identity.  “I trust you,” he finally stated, reaching up with one hand and pulling off his mask.  Bare faced, he smiled at them, heart slowly healing again.  “Hi, I’m Peter Parker.”

**Author's Note:**

> ..I'm not even going to try to tell you how I started this. I'm not even supposed to be awake. I haven't slept much at all.
> 
> Anyways.. I'm so sorry this turned out so sad. Really, sorry, everyone. Please enjoy some treats or videos of kittens if you feel the need to after this. I promise my holiday fics will be happier.
> 
> Thank you~ Hope you have a good rest of the week.


End file.
